Thesis STATEMENT

Through the exploration of learning & falling in love with photography, my work evolved & shifted rapidly—but the lens was always a place I returned to. I remember my dad bringing me along to band practices in Pasadena & Sierra Madre, where I’d lie on the floor by the bass drum, bored out of my mind. He played in an R&B band that covered Motown classics & soul. He was constantly challenging my ear & exposing me to a vast spectrum of music from a young age. He never “made it” in the traditional sense, but music was never something I could ignore—it was woven into everything. It has thrilled me all my life. To live alongside it, to play it, to listen, to feel & experience. There became a need to capture it.

Through my teen years, growing up in & around Los Angeles, I spent countless nights at all-ages underground indie shows. Many being under five dollars to enter. I became completely entranced by the artists—many of them my friends—watching them grow into greatness. I started documenting these nights with my mom’s 1990s 35mm film camera, capturing moments in a keepsake fashion. It quickly became a part of me, giving me both purpose & a place within the music.

I craved this touch of nostalgia in everything I photographed—it gave me a sense of home. Nostalgia for a time I never lived, but always heard through speakers & saw in the physical media I devoured in my youth. I've always admired the performer deeply—maybe part of me wanted to feel what they felt. Remembering being so young, my walls were covered with posters of rockstars, even my ceiling was plastered. Music was something that consumed me completely. It is home to the soul’s deepest elements: escape, connection, passion, thrill. The lifestyle & the fleeting moments that live between you & around you. Falling in love with sound & with the people who create it—believing in the personas they build.

Capturing these elements of the soul has been an ongoing quest, rooted in remembering my childhood & in a sense, paying homage. I struggled as a photographer to understand my role & capture the feeling that music had given me all my life from a perspective that was entirely different from the commercial world of music photography. I struggled to separate this commercial or label standard way of capturing the show from the real thrill of it—what the music makes me & so many others feel. I found inspiration in the vintage records I grew up with—their album covers, vinyl sleeves, & CD inserts—all deeply artistic & emotionally charged. That, combined with the keepsake quality of old family photos, pushed me to dig deeper.

I wanted to photograph the way I felt nostalgic for. I began this series on a disposable Kodak camera & a 1980s Polaroid, searching for a new way of seeing & connecting with the artists in a different way.  I noticed how these smaller cameras brought people to life—when I carried a DSLR with a heavy flash, something shifted; people became guarded. They knew they were being photographed & documented. Eventually, I transitioned to a Canon point-and-shoot to complete the later part of this series. I am continually looking for ways to bridge that gap of connection &  to capture this in-between space that sustains somewhere between the personal & the commercial. This series is nowhere near its final form, & something I hope to continually grow over the years working in the music industry & alongside it. Deepening my grip on understanding where my role is & where I come into the work & why it feels so urgent to capture.